On day 10 we departed Las Vegas en route to the Grand Canyon.  First, however, we stopped at the Hoover Dam – which is of course named after the architect famous for designing “Hoovervilles” and not the vacuum manufacturer as many suspect.  At one point you were allowed to drive over the Hoover Dam as part of the normal highway.  Today you cannot do that, as there is a bypass that you are required to take.  You can still drive over the dam, but only to get to the parking lot.  I assume this is because of security concerns, which I find odd because the dam is simply massive in scale.  I can’t imagine what it would take to rattle it.  I really did not have an appreciation for this until I stood on it and looked down at the hydroelectric plant below.  In the midst of this grandeur, I kept thinking about Tom Petty riding a zip line from the dam down the canyon.  If you have any idea what I’m talking about, you and I are friends.  Friends who enjoy simply awful movies.



Dam

We left Hoover dam hastily to escape the heat that seemed to envelope us the minute we stepped out of the car.  The drive to the Grand Canyon is about 4 hours from the dam and through the desert.  About half an hour later we came to a gas station called “The Last Stop.”  We were in need of gas – not desperate need, but need – so we thought we better take the opportunity at this “last stop.”  Because they’re the “last stop,” gas was 25% more expensive.  Water was 100% more expensive.  Nonetheless, we paid because who knows when we’d get the next opportunity.

Turns out, however, the next opportunity was exactly 1 mile down the road.  Apparently, “last stop” is one of those weasel words advertisers use that doesn’t mean anything.  For example, “50% bigger” in an advertisement conveys little if any information.  50% bigger than what?  The competitor?  The previous package?  Dust mites?  “Last stop” is named such because it is the “last stop” for literally one mile.  I do not blame the gas station.  I blame us for being so gullible. 

After a brief stop at our hotel – more on that tomorrow – we soldiered on to the Canyon.  I think we were all taken back by the sheer size/scale of the canyon.  We had in our minds a gash running through the ground.  Instead it is a massive, miles wide hole in the ground.  I also was surprised to see the diversity of vantage points along various spots on the rim.  Truly impressive.  Equally impressive is that the Grand Canyon was easily the coolest spot of the entire trip.  Low 80s were the highs while we were there, so that was a bonus. 



That third layer of rock is the Coconino Sandstone we've all been hearing about

We had dinner reservations at the El Tovar Hotel, which is situated along the rim with spectacular views.  Equally spectacular are the tempers of tourists when parking lots are small.  I did not really hold the illusion we were going to get a spot in the El Tovar parking lot given that it was about 40 total spaces.  As we entered the parking lot – which is a one way thoroughfare – an SUV blocked the path.  It was sitting there, apparently waiting for a specific car to back out.  No problem, we’ll wait.  We sat for a solid five minutes with no movement.  Cars piled up behind us.  People started honking.  I was driving at the time, and this provided me a perfect opportunity to put into action some relaxation techniques I’ve been holding on to as treatment for a condition called “little patients.”  I realized, however, that every minute this guy sat there increased our odds of someone exiting the hotel and leaving a parking space.  Furthermore, any blame for inconvenience would be placed on the SUV guy and not me.  I actually began to get anxious he would leave too soon. 

At one point a lady got out of her car and walked up to the SUV to calmly and rationally discuss the situation and her frustrations.  I jest, of course, as she berated him with sharp, pointed words and clever name-calling.  Ultimately, the SUV was in fact waiting for a specific car to pull out, which it did after 10 minutes or so.  The SUV took that spot, and we sailed up slightly further to find a car did indeed exit the parking lot while we were waiting.  As we walked by the SUV – with the woman still berating its driver – we got the sense we were the true winners of the battle. 



Love is not having to say "don't push me" near the canyon

Before dinner, we did some hiking.  Part of the rim trail, which runs for many miles along the canyon overlooking it at various points, run past the hotel.  Many points do not have guiderails, furthermore, which offered us the opportunity to tempt the fates several times.  Once, while we were posing for pictures at the edge of the canyon, a male-type tween travelling with his family saw us and wandered over our way.  The matriarch of the group, aghast at our brazen disregard for personal safety and wary of her delicate flower getting too close to the edge, shouted “Jason get over here!  Just because other people are doing something doesn’t mean you should do it also!”  In my mind I like to think it was the same parents who shouted at their kids to stay back from the elk in Yellowstone as we toed the 25 yard regulation. 


Group photo featuring an impressive 4:1 smile ratio

Unrequited love is the saddest love

Dinner at the El Tovar was solid (if unremarkable), but had some spectacular views while we dined.  We were an hour or so early so I checked in with the hostess ahead of time, which she appreciated greatly.  Why she appreciated it so I am not sure.  So happy was she that we were moved from the main dining room to a table right by the huge panoramic windows near the porch.  That made dinner for us.

Wicked deep

Our intention after eating was to do some stargazing, as we were told the El Tovar has charts they give out for free.  Alas, it was not to be, as the receptionist at the desk told us there were no maps, nor were there ever maps.  With the sting of being lied to in our hearts, we slunk back to the Grand Canyon Inn to prepare for the next day. 

Up next: Desert View, Wupatki Pueblo, and insolent children at the pool!

Random Stats:

Hours Driven: 74
Grand Canyon Kills: over 600 (real statistic)
Feet Hiked into Canyon: 0

Two-part Quote of the Day:

“Why are you so happy?  Are you delirious?”
-          Kati to Becky on the way to the Grand Canyon

“She’s happy because I’m not.”
-          Chunk to Kati, upset over various wardrobe related issues