Day 4,187 found us in Sin City itself, Las Vegas Nevada!  We arrived in Las Vegas at 6:30 AM, which was about an hour and a half ahead of schedule due to an early escape from Jackson.  The great thing about Vegas is everything is open almost all the time.  We naturally went to the classiest joint on the strip for breakfast: IHOP.  There are no words to capture the strange enjoyment one gets from seeing someone eating their Rutti Tutti Fresh and Fruity in their club clothes.  It makes you wonder if this is the cap to a good or bad night in Vegas.  There is a sociological study to be done here by someone.

I scheduled us for early check in at the Luxor (the big pyramid), but we were still an hour and half away from that.  The troops (myself included) were getting restless after a long drive, however, so I sprang into action to try and get us in the room early.  Many of negotiations and/or confrontations can be distilled to a signaling game between two parties.  Kati has heard this before, and has shouted several times that “EVERYTHING IS NOT A SIGNALING GAME, MATT!” which – ironically – is in and of itself a signal.  I had also read up on Las Vegas etiquette before the trip, so I knew tipping desk staff for things like upgrades or comps is proper form.  Before going to the desk I pulled a $20 out of my wallet and folded it carefully so the denomination was hidden.  After I got to the desk, I put the bill under my wallet so visible but not obvious.  The nice lady at the desk told me our rooms were not ready yet, but she had an upgrade to two clean rooms beside each other in the towers connected to the pyramid.  Mission accomplished.  It is also worth mentioning that she may have intended those rooms for us anyway, or given us an upgrade regardless of what I did.  She may have also fed me a line of BS longer than the strip.  I guess in the end, though, we both win since we were happy to get in the room early.

After a quick 3 or 4 hour nap (7 in Becky’s case), we started our exploration of the strip.  Josh, Chunk and I played a few slots in the early afternoon with everyone losing.  I was able to play my first $20 for several hours, though, out of sheer luck.  Our favorite game was the Wizard of Oz slot game.  When you sit down you have to pick whether you are Dorothy, the Lion, Scarecrow, or Tin Man.  There are four slots connected here so you could theoretically have one of each.  If you get three bonus symbols on the game, you trigger a “big event” where the Wizard shows up on a big screen above the bank of slots.  He then dolls out wild cards, bonus spins, etc. to the entire group.  For example, he’ll shout “Scarecrow!  I grant your request…and provide you ONE WILD!”  We never won much here, but the shiny objects, colors, and loud noises kept me entertained for $20, as dollars are the official measurement of time, distance, and quantity in Las Vegas. 

"Josh, I grant your request...and provide you TWO HOURS SLEEP!"

After Becky rejoined humanity we made the mistake of walking from the Luxor on the south end of the strip to the Bellagio in the middle.  I do not care if it is a dry heat, 110 degrees is hot.  We ducked in and out of casinos to both see the inside and stave off heat stroke.  Whatever the approximately 500 individuals handing out cards for “female companionship” on the strip are making is not enough.  Lesson learned, though.  We took a cab for anything over one block after this. 

Our last picture before the heal claimed us

For dinner we took in the Bellagio buffet. It was an hour wait, but totally worth it. They had everything on this buffet – steak, pasta, pizza, sushi, Chinese, French, dessert, etc. The crazy thing is the food was actually good. I could have ordered the pesto tortellini on any menu and been excited. The tragic part of the buffet is eventually you will fill up without sampling everything you want. With a combined 1,100 pounds of humanity at the table, though, that took a long, long time.

After the buffet we hit the casino at the Luxor for a nightcap.  Grand total, Kati and I lost $100 combine.  We planned to spend about this much gambling and were simply happy to have it last as long as it did.  Chunk and Becky ended in the red, too, but expected as much.  BUT, did you know that if you are playing in the casino they will bring you drinks?  Drinks for FREE?  I empirically observed a direct correlation between the tip you give the cocktail waitress and the frequency of visits (signaling game again).  The big winner was Josh, however, as hit it big playing “Pharaoh’s Gold.”  He ended $220 in the black and walked out of Vegas a winner.  Let’s go to Josh for the winner’s comments:

“I was down to $0.67 at one point.  This goes to show you should NEVER stop gambling, because it’s always darkest before the dawn.” 

My money is somewhere on the casino floor

Up Next: The Mob Attraction, Titanic, Tigers, and Cirque de Solei.

Random States:

Hours Driven: 68

Average Buffet Items Sampled: 47

Bellagio Profit from our buffet purchase: -$83.42

Hours of slots played: $100

Quote of the Day:

“………………………….”

-          Little girl when Chunk gave her all his carnival tickets.  While an incredibly nice gesture, she wasn’t sure if she should run or cower from the big scary man.

Our final day in Wyoming took us to the Grand Tetons, a majestic set of mountains south of Yellowstone.  We bypassed the popular tourist spots in favor of the more out-of-the-way Taggert Lake.  We hiked out 1.5 miles to a pristine, crystal clear glacial lake nestled in the mountains.  The trail itself was gorgeous as it passed by rushing streams, beautiful rock formations, and some forest cover.  We dangled our feet in the water for some time.  With no leaves to rustle and few birds, it was incredibly quite.  Highly enjoyable.

Josh washed his clothes on a flat rock in that mountain stream

The walk back, however, was a forced march of epic proportions.  Kati and Becky insisted on the 2.2 mile trail back.  The trail started with a leisurely, half-mile vertical climb without shade.  It took over an hour and resulted in a twisted ankle for Becky.  Fortunately, the thin air makes it very easy to breath, as it is rich in oxygen.  We should have known what we were in for given the complete absence of people on the trail.  Somehow we survived, though, and are stronger for the voyage.

Sigh.........another mountain

We drove from the Tetons to Jackson for dinner.  Jackson was…disappointing. 

1.       It was very busy.  The kind of busy that makes you uncomfortable, because everyone (including yourself) is oblivious to other people.  Hence…

2.       People tended to be curt at best and outright hostile at worst.  The other tourists pushed and jockeyed position – for what I’m not sure – with complete disregard for their fellow man.  Now, we had just finished a hike and were dressed in the associated attire (khaki shorts, T-shirts).  We had freshened up, too, so we were unlikely to smell save for Kati’s persistent buffalo poo foot.  We were turned away, however, from a nearly empty restaurant – the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar – because “they were all booked up.”  Maybe they were, maybe they weren’t, but as we left the maître de was busy rearranging the things we had touched (this is not an exaggeration).  We ultimately found a place with a patio where our presence was less offensive. 

3.       The restaurant we picked was a trendy little place simply titled “Kitchen.”  The service was not bad, if only because we actually got service.  Our waitress had a strong distaste for the campiness of the town, which Kati appreciated but Josh labeled “snobby.”  We made it in time for happy hour with half price appetizers, which is an invitation for three heavy set guys to go to town.  We got four orders of the spicy shrimp – two for the group and two for Josh’s dinner.  While the spicy shrimp were excellent, it proved to be the highlight of the meal.  My flank steak was pedestrian, Kati’s vegetable linguini was “fine,” and Chunk’s tenderloin “tasted like air freshener” and contained fibrous material later identified as “parsnips.”  Bottom line is we were all jealous of Josh’s dual appetizer meal.

4.       Normally I avoid reviewing public restrooms because they are necessities and not features.  In Jackson, however, the restrooms were a major highlight.  The men’s room contained no soap dispensers, presumably because the people there never get dirty or produce waste.  Kati and Becky reported the toilet flushed three times while still in use. 

5.       Despite all this, Jackson is truly beautiful.  Surrounded by mountains and greenery, it looks like the quintessential mountain town.  You can see the ski lifts on the slopes around the town as if you can ski right into the city square.  I bet Jackson is great for skiing in the Winter, and will consider returning once the wounds from my last ski trip in 2010 heal. 

These are the bones of tourists who drove non-hybrid SUVs, and therefore forfeit life

We left Jackson en route to Las Vegas at approximately 7:00 PM for a long, 12 hour overnight drive. We passed through Idaho on the way where the speed limit is 75. If I had to guess, the speed limit is so high because people are trying to get through it as fast as possible.*  The problem is, however, large tracts of the road we were on in Idaho were free range cattle ranches.  Basically, the cows roam wherever the cows want.  So with literally thousands of acres to explore, it is natural they hang out on the road.  Kati was driving at this juncture – doing an excellent job I might add.  She took a turn and came face to face with a herd of cattle doing whatever cows do on the road.  She skillfully avoided collision, fortunately, and allowed us to continue our journey unmolested.

El Chupacabra!

On the way we stopped at 1:00 AM or so for gas and provisions in Salt Lake City.  With five people in the van, stops are never – NEVER – a quick process.  At this particular one, however, Kati had a mild-to-major freak out.  Chunk is notorious for long stops at gas stations, in particular.  At this particular stop he had the keys.  Because we could not get in the vehicle, we sat on the curb outside waiting.  While there some Caucasian individuals who may or may not have been partying arrived at the gas station.  They seemed to know the attendant, so everyone came outside and started to talk.  One of them sat on the curb within 10 feet of us for a smoke.  Josh, Becky, and I gave them little notice.   Kati, however, was firmly convinced these individuals were going to “jump us” and “steal all our cash.”  While pacing the parking lot she could be heard saying “Come ON Chunk!” under her breath.  When Chunk emerged an estimated 6 to 7 hours later (by Kati time), we piled in the van.  Becky, though, needed some toiletries, because if you don’t look your best at 1:00 AM, why even try the rest of the day?  This sent Kati into full panic mode.  “You have TWENTY SECONDS!”  “Come on Bec, HURRY UP!”  “We’re going to get jumped, let’s go!”  An estimated 30 to 40 minutes later (by Kati time), Becky emerged and we performed a Dukes of Hazard style peel out to safety.

Also, in the middle of this city, with no visible trees around, a mule deer ran through the gas station parking lot within 10 feet of us.  Kati is convinced it was running from the shady people, too.

Chunk emulating his hero Geordi La Forge

Up Next: Vegas, Baby!

Random Stats:

Hours Driven: 68

Shady People Evaded: 6

Meat Stick Inventory: 78%

Interesting things in Idaho: 0

Renditions of “American Pie”: 14

Quote of the Day:

“No, this is Cowabu National Forest"

-   Kati, as we drove through Caribou National Forest in Idaho, showing obvious signs of cow-related trauma.

*If anyone is offended by this, let me know.  I won’t retract it, but I will try and make fun of South Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Virginia to balance things out.

Day 6 saw us back in Yellowstone.  We also called our first audible, axing the Mammoth Hot Springs in favor of a scenic drive.  To get to the park, however, we drove north to Red Lodge and took the Beartooth Pass down to Yellowstone.  This road climbs close to 10,000 feet through a series of hellacious switchbacks.  It provides some amazing views of the mountains interlaced with crystal clear pools. 

Turn around Josh, there are mountains!

At the top of the mountain we got close enough to snow – which we have never seen before – to assault each other with it.  Snow is much more interesting in the middle of July, for sure, and even more so when hurled at each other with velocity. 



The only thing cooler than the snow is me, right ladies?



Once in Yellowstone, we headed to the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone.  Once we reach the one in Arizona, Chunk will have completed the trifecta – Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania, Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, and THE Grand Canyon.  Stay alert for his impending book deal.  The canyon was pretty impressive with a nice waterfall at the end.  As with most nice things, we wanted to get the perfect vantage point.  This unfortunately involved hiking down a series of stairs and steep slopes to an observation point.  I found out just how difficult it was to breath in the mountain air that day, and I shan’t do it again. 

This leads to a more interesting happening.  The thin air opened a vein in Chunk’s nose at the top of the canyon.  At this point we were a mile away from the vehicle and the absorbent products it contained.  With no napkins or tissues, Chunk faced a choice no man should have to make.  The only options were 1) a tampon or 2) Chunk’s own sock.  Weighing the options, the tampon is likely more absorbent, cleaner, and disposable.  The sock, however, has a major advantage in that it is not a tampon.  The choice was easy: sock.

Chunk would have accepted a tourniquet before a tampon

Enjoy this picture, we lost Chunk getting to this view

After the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, we meandered to the Roosevelt Lodge for dinner.  On the way, we stopped at the petrified tree.  Apparently Yellowstone was once a lush forest containing trees not unlike what exists in California’s redwood forests.  Changes to the landscape and climate, though, killed them off, but not before mudslides and volcanic activity sealed three stumps in dirt.  Minerals slowely replaced organic matter, turning the wood to stone.  I personally feel this is pretty cool.  One lady there, though, was less than impressed.  “BFD,” she said with disgust at this perversion of nature.  She might have actually been offended and upset at the petrified tree.  The Roosevelt Lodge itself was generally pretty good, although they boil ribs.  Boiled ribs are not true ribs, hence receiving two thumbs down from this guy.

"Pfft. BFD. I have trees from which organic matter was replaced by minerals over a period of centuries all over my lawn."

"Is that Kevin James?!"

Our final activity in Yellowstone was an evening hike through the Lamar Valley.  This particular valley is literally where the buffalo roam.  We stopped counting individual buffalos and started counting herds (six total).  We hiked about three miles back in the valley such that we could not see the road anymore, but had a commanding view of the valley, river, and tree line.  On the way we found a shard of petrified tree (BFD).  On our walk we turned a corner and ran smack into a buffalo.  He was just hanging out under a pair of trees, chewing cud.  He was there for a solid three hours, and completely unimpressed by us.  Unfortunately, this was about the only animal we saw up close.  It was still pretty cool to see the country side at dusk and away from people. 

Kati may or may not have, but definately did, sing "The Hills are Alive"

Confirmation: horns, but no halo

On the way back, we have two major events to report.  First, Chunk and Kati spotted six or eight elk sheds.  It took every fiber of our being not to take them from the park, but we resisted temptation.  Second, Kati stepped on a landmine.  A buffalo land mine.  I’m honestly amazed this was the only poo-related casualty given the number of landmines.  Oddly, Kati was most upset that Becky wouldn’t smell her shoe.

Finally, here is our mid-trip injury report:

1.       Matt – broken laptop and swollen knees from death marching

2.       Chunk – persistent bloody nose from thin air

3.       Becky – twisted ankle from hiking

4.       Josh – dysentery with a touch of cholera

5.       Kati – smelly foot from buffalo poo and strained ocular muscles from eye-rolling

Random Stats:

Hours Driven: 51

Buffalo Herds Seen: 6

Bloody Socks: 1

Quote of the Day:

“Are you really Amish?”

– Waitress to Josh, who’s shirt had a pic of an Amish farmer with tag line “Amish - Fight the Power.”  She seemed sad he was not Amish.

Up Next: Leaving Wyoming via the Tetons.

 

BONUS GAME: Who said the following quote?

“If you bite me, I’m going to slam your head into the ground.  I can palm your head pretty good.”

A.      Kati to Becky

B.      Josh to Chunk

C.      Chunk to Matt

D.      Becky to Kati

E.       All of the Above

Sorry for the delay, folks, but we encountered a series of problems.  First, wi-fi access is limited in the old west due to buffalo wrecking the internet tubes.  Second, and more importantly, my laptop is on the fritz.  All I know at this point is there are no longer wires connected to my start button.  I'll do my best...



For Day 5, we stayed in Cody, WY as something of an "off-day" from driving.  Just because no driving occured, however, does not mean we slacked off.  Rather, we booked a white water rafting trip in the morning.  The Shoshone River - which translates to "stinky water" - is a dam fed river that runs through Cody, making it perfect for our purposes.  Here are the major happenings from the rafting trip:


1. We booked a 4 hour trip about a month ago.  Unfortunately, Wyoming had a very, very mild winter that produced little snowfall.  Consequently, the trip we booked wasn't running because they didn't have enough water.  A 2 hour trip was available, however, which actually may have worked out better in our case. 


2. I also made my first mistake (honest) of the trip here when I mixed up the days.  I booked for the 20th, not the 19th.  Fortunately they could take us that day, so no harm no foul.


3. The low water made for some pretty weak rapids.  Most just gently rolled the boat.  A few did get us wet, which was very refreshing actually.  The air temp was probably 80, and the sun made it even hotter.  The 48 degree water actually felt good. 


4. Each boat was assigned a guide.  Ours was "Wes," a college kid majoring in cellular biology from the Cody area.  Wes honestly made the trip for us.  He was a fount of information on Cody, rafting, and life in general.  Here are some things we learned from Wes:

A.    Russian olive trees are invasive in Wyoming.  They are bulldozed by the thousands every year because they choke the life out of things.  All this in spite of the fact that the fruit of the Russian olive is unique in that it tastes like vodka and is excellent mixed with khalua and cream.* 

B.     Wes chose his school – Montana State – because it has the best skiing in the area.  There are certainly worse reasons to pick a school, but I immediately pegged him as a joke major (like political science).  Wrong.  Cellular biology/pre-med.  Lesson learned.

C.     Our trip had two rafts of people.  We were paired with a family from Texas, mother, father, two younger daughters.  During our trip we talked a great deal about traveling and what to do at certain locations.  Every time I asked about certain things – nightlife in Cody, the music scene in Nashville – the father, who really was a very nice guy, just said “kids…”  They were not enthused about getting wet, which seems odd for a rafting trip.  We were hot, however, and egged Wes on to hit the rapids (which were very tame) hard.  Fat people always win in rafting trips. 

D.    Our group has rafted before on the Ohiopyle in Pennsylvania.  Wes asked us about our previous trip and we told him about the time we took our five-person raft through a key hole rapid meant only for kayaks.  Long story short, it involved the raft folding in half.  Not a man was lost in this maneuver.  Fat people always win in rafting.  Anyway, Wes’s comment was “Wow, I can’t believe your guide let you do that!”  Our reply was “We didn’t have a guide.”  Wes, appalled and almost visibly offended, gasped “What?!  We would never do that!  How did not you die?”  Good to know we defied death on the Ohiopyle.


*I made this up, but it sounds plausible. 

After freshening up after rafting, we grabbed some lunch at the Proud Cut Saloon.  The meal was pedestrian, except for the Rocky Mountain Oysters (RMOs).  I watch a lot of Chopped on Food Network, which has clued me in to exotic items like Hicama, Deckle of Beef, and RMOs.  For those behind on their Chopped, RMOs are bull testicles.  Big, beefy bull testicles.  Being a summer of new experiences, we ordered a set.  They come thinly sliced and deep fried.  Here are our thoughts:

1.       Kati – “Tastes like everything else deep fried.”

2.       Josh – “Overcooked chicken.  Chewy.  Not again.”

3.       Matt – “Best testicles I’ve ever had.” 

4.       Becky and Chunk don’t have the balls to eat balls. 

 

That look isn't Kati disapproving of RMOs, she disapproves of Matt eating fried food



We divided forces after lunch with the womenfolk shopping and menfolk going to the Buffalo Bill Museum (BBM).  My Dad tipped us off about the gun collection at the BBM, but nothing prepared us for the onslaught of second amendment rights.  The collection is massive and includes virtually every firearm imaginable.  Over 2,700 guns are on display.  We plowed through 1,200 before we had to go see other exhibits with our time.  The amazing thing is the 2,700 is only one-third of the total guns they have.  They also have wings of the museum dedicated to Native Peoples, Buffalo Bill, and art, which were swell.

Gold trimmed, because why not

Teddy Roosevelt's big stick

Presented to Reagan for not being Jimmy Carter

Cody day was also food day, apparently, as we had an excellent meal at the Wyoming Rib and Chop House.  Speaking personally, it was one of the best meals I’ve ever had.  Chunk and I ordered the Tomahawk steak to share, which contrary to your first impression, is totally not gay (in a completely, non-heteronormative use of the term).  Its 44 oz of bone-in ribeye.  The kicker is the bone is basically the cow’s rib (see associated picture).  I’m surprised it didn’t have the Rocky Mountain Oysters attached.  It redefined beef for me, and we left satisfied men.

Chunk calls it "The Raptor Cut"

We took turns gnawing on the bone



"FINISH HIM!"



Last event of the day was the rodeo.  It was literally our first rodeo.  Events consisted of bronco riding, calf roping, barrel racing, bull riding, and miscellaneous novelty acts.  The spectacle was pretty enjoyable, but two items stick out.  First, one of the bulls score a hit on a rodeo clown-type helper.  Before I continue, he was fine and continued to work after this takes place, so do not pity they guy who steps in front of the bull literally begging to be gored.  One of the riders was bucked off five seconds or so in.  They had some trouble corralling him, so one of the clowns took the initiative to anger the bull into running after him towards the gate.  Surprisingly, the bull was both angry and fast.  It’s almost like he was bred and trained to be ornery.  He closed in on the clown and caught him by the seat of the pants, flipping him a solid fifteen feet in the air.  Not satisfied, the bull hit ‘em again, scoring combo points for another hit.  Disappointed the clown was still moving, the bull landed a third blow weaker than the first two.  At this point he had his fill and sauntered off.  The clown hopped up and went on his way, so all is well that ends well.

PETA still approves of kid wrangling, fortunately

Second, intermission featured a kids' event.  All kids 10 and under were invited to the ring.  They then turned loose three calfs with flags on their tales.  The kids then ran after the calfs and tried to grab the flags.  All the flags were gone in the first 10 seconds, but the kids chased the calfs for a good minute before they were corralled. 



Bronco - 1, Silly Human - 0



Finally, the chief rodeo clown – who I will refer to as the “racist rodeo clown” or RRC – oscillated between off-color humor and benign slapstick.  I call him racist because, well, he nailed everyone – Asians, African-Americans, Muslims, and Latinos.  You’ll be shocked – SHOCKED – to know he lobbied against Obama during the rodeo.  I have little doubt his endorsement will lock up the election for Romney.  He had two gems, both occurring during the youth (5-12 year old) bull riding competition.  First, a kid was bucked off and visibly upset, to which the clown stated “He’s not upset because he was bucked off, he’s upset he drop his Copenhagen.”  This is probably more sad truth than funny commentary.  Second, one of the kids got in the chute but bailed before the ride.  The RRC commented “He’s come down with a stomach problem…no guts.”  It takes a brave dude to harass a seven year old kid for not wanting to ride a half-ton bull.  That said, we laughed hard.



Up Next: Beartooth Pass, the Other Grand Canyon, and Lamar Valley.

Random Stats:

Hours Driven: 43

Ounces of per capita Meat consumed: 25

Rapids encountered: 0

Angry Bulls: 15

Quote of the day:

“I can’t wait for my testicles!”

– Matt at lunch

Geyser day in Yellowstone was a looooong day, but only because we enjoyed ourselves immensly.  Consequently, this post will be picture-laden.  After an amazing drive from Cody to the park, we were immediately greeted by a buffalo standing on the road as if he were, in the words of Chunk "a Walmart greeter."  Traffic was squeezing around him, and not a single care was given by the buffalo.  In fact, I think he rather enjoyed it.  Honestly, we did too, as it made for fantastic photos.

Hello and Welcome to Yellowstone.  Would you like a cart?





"Yeah, I'm a stud."

The drive through Yellowstone is utterly breathtaking.  Every 1/2 mile or so is a pulloff for some sort of scenic something - lake, stream, field, geothermal oddity, etc.  After ten miles or so we happened on a bull Elk, or rather a bull Elk happened upon us.  He was in full velvet and supremely impressive.  Had this been our only elk of the day we would have been happy, but little did we know what lay in store later...
 




We made our way around Lake Yellowstone, stopping at Kepler Cascades on the way.  See the photo on the left?  Pretty amazing rapids right?  This stop was virtually unpopulated by tourists.  This is a boring picture in Yellowstone.  Also, there are no rails around these things in the park.  It's not a problem, per se, until you climb out on jutting rocks, which may or may not be occuring in the picture.



More suggestion than law, really

Obligatory Old Faithful Pic

We arrived litterally just in time for Old Faithful to erupt (which is entirely a consquence of superior planning on part of the trip administrator).  There is something about superheated water shooting out of the ground that is really, really cool.  Apparently 1,000 other people also believe this, judging by the crowd.  Most of them did not continue on the geyser trail, though, which contains literally dozens of hot springs and geysers.  We have dozens of pics of that walk, which I hope to upload later. 

Two interesting items from the Lower Geyser Basin walk.  First, we watched a lady tell her daughter (5 years old) that animals were laying down on a hill 10 yards behind a geyser.  Upon closer inspection by Chunk, however, they proved to be rocks.  Rather than burst the bubble of childlike wonder, though, we chose not to correct her.  Second, there was a kid who had the presence of mind to bring a infrared thermometer to the park.  He happend to be on the same pace as us, too, which provided some interesting insight.  At least for the first 10 hot springs/geysers.  After that, he seemed to be taking the temperature of everything - dirt, rocks, the sidewalk, and a chipmunk.  File this away: chipmunks on a hot day in Yellowstone can reach 115 degrees.  The FDA recommends they be cooked to 175, though. 

PAINT POTS!!! YEAH!!!!

Our next stop was the fountain paint pots. Honestly, not much of consqeunce occured on this stop besides the awseme scenery.  I (Matt) include this, though, because I LOVE PAINT POTS.  Being blog administrator, I am excercizing executive priviledge and bringing the joy to you.



Beautiful Tinder

 After a lunch at Old Faithful Inn - which is stunning in its wooden beauty - we drove along the Firehole River until we found a nice place to swim.  Our prefered spot was out of the way of everyone, and although not deep, was well-suited to soaking.  The water moves quickly in the Firehole River, but was not terribly cold.  There is something truly awseme about sitting in a river in the middle of Yellowstone, taking in the scenery, and just relaxing.  We stayed for a good hour before it got a little chilly. 

Help!  Those albino bears are attacking that pretty lady!





Natural sauna



We dried off and headed down the road to the Midway Geyser Basin.  It was here that Chunk proclaimed the best part of the trip this far (although it was eclipsed within the hour).  Excelsior Geyser is less of a traditional, water in the air geyser and more of a giant hole gushing water.  It's positively huge with several thousand gallons of water rushing out every minute.  Steam rises constantly and blows across the sidewalk. 

 

After excelsior geyser we started the trek home.  We passed by a group of elk on the way and snapped a few pictures.  I would post pictures of this, but we saw something much, much better a few miles down the road. As we passed Lake Yellowstone, Chunk spotted two bull elk hanging out by the lake with the sun in the background.  These elk were no stranger to humans, either, and seemed not to care about our presence.  Naturally we took this opportunity to get as close as possible to them for pictures.  As mothers screemed to thier children to stay back from the wildlife, we inched closer and closer to them - possibly violating the minimum 25 yard regulation.  I do not exaggerate when I say we probably undid a solid two years of quality parenting by approching the elk without being gored.  I was hesitant at first, but Chunk shouted encouragement.  "He woln't hurt you, get closer!" he shouted.  "Come on, you're as big as him, you're good!"  Apparently every step I took towards the elk (my back was to him for the picture), he would raise his head and give me the stink eye. 

  

"Soon, human...soon."



25 yards is a matter of opinion



This is roughly the same stink-eye the Elk gave me

Total Hours Driven: 43

Bugs Vanquished by the Town and Country: 2 million (estimate)

Meat Stick Inventory: 82% capacity

Baby Mule Deer Sited: 3

Quote of the Day:
"Kind of like Cooks Forest..."
 - Chunk, sarcastically we think


Up Next: Cody Day!  White Water Rafting, Buffalo Bill, and the Roe-day-O.

Evidence we are still friends as of Day 4